who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
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