Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Randomize
