I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
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