Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
my being single is dangerous.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
What changed your mind?
Being sober
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Randomize
