im drinking this country out of the recession.
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
