Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
