Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Randomize
