the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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