Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
im six kinds of drunk right now
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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