how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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