Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Randomize
