Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
