So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize