so explain again why im purple
no
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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