My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Randomize
