He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
