And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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