She is in my trunk
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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