A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
