Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
