I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize