she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
