Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
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