ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
you will always have a special place in my vag
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Randomize
