I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
