she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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