I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
