sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
