69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
