you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize