he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
