Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Randomize
