all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize