Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
