Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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