i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
