Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
it glows. i had to have it.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I will be naked everywhere
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I didn't notice because vodka
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Randomize
