I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
