why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
