She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Randomize
