Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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