I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
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