last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
