Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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