Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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