i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
