I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize