just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
