Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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