I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
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