I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
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