pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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