is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
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