hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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