I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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