Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Randomize
