I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
