forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
