You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
then he tried to convert me to islam
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
