He is such a slut. More and more my type.
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
