I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
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