Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Randomize
