I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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