If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
